“I’ll get to it later, I have time” was a very seductive lie I told myself throughout my tenure as a CEO. I would get in great shape when my net worth hit X and I would hire a personal trainer, I had time. I would enter a meaningful, heartfelt relationship when the executive team could run the day-to-day without me, I had time. I would learn guitar (for my third attempt) and record my music, I totally had time. I’d start a family, plenty of time for that. I would spend more time doing what I loved.
I believed that circumstances would one day align when my calendar and bank account finally cooperate – which makes me chuckle now writing that. Over 17 years as a Founder and CEO, I paid the price for putting my dreams off, despite a lot of financial and outward success. And life looked as such for other founders in my network. They were gaining unwanted weight, getting depressed, withdrawn, cynical, divorced and disconnected from the vibrant life force that got them into entrepreneurship in the first place. And the companies were struggling, stagnating and the exit strategy had become a mirage.
As is the case, most leaders survive on deferred maintenance. Founders have normalized it. Executives institutionalized it. The drift away from what matters most is subtle, but the cost is absolute and very palpable.
The things that matter most – health, relationships, creativity, meaning – generally do not collapse suddenly. They erode. They degrade not through crisis, but through postponement. Health withers, relationships drift while purpose dissolves into mere output. It happens via the quiet internal whisper that says “I’ll tend to this when things calm down. When the product ships. When the round closes. When my net worth hits X.“
But that is not valid reasoning, it is a protective narrative hard at work. It is a psychological veil that shields you from confronting old beliefs you were trained to obey – beliefs about worth, safety, and what you’re truly allowed to experience out of life. I wore that veil for many, many years.
Because “later” is a soothing anesthesia.
It lets you avoid the exploration with the part of you that is afraid of deep change, afraid of your heart’s calling, or afraid of taking yourself and your life’s purpose very seriously.
But anesthesia always has an invoice.
You think you are investing in a better future as a leader, but you are making payments to your past.
“Later” compounds over time. Like interest on a loan, the cost rises quietly until one day the beliefs that no longer serve you have foreclosed on your dreams.
It’s commonplace that we discover these insights too late. The old stories of waking up to symbols of success with no meaning, no vitality and often depressed. So many founders and executives feel it as an inescapable fatigue, a hollowing gap between external success and internal stagnation. They assumed life would expand when success did. It didn’t for me and many in my entrepreneurial circles. It never does. The outside scales. The inside does not — unless you proactively work on it.
If you want a life you enjoy later, the only material you will ever have to build it with is how you act today. Not when you feel ready, not when the company stabilizes, and not when you have more money or more confidence.
Working on managing the psyche is the only point of leverage we have. It is the only environment where change is real rather than conceptual. Because we do not see things as they are, rather we see things as we are. And if what you see is no longer serving you, well.. what are you going to do with that awareness?
Whatever can be done about it is probably going to require ongoing support and resources to make a lasting impact. For me, it was having someone trusted and experienced in my corner – and it still is.
The work we do is not about forcing discipline. It is about dissolving the beliefs that keep you postponing your own high quality life and the success of your entrepreneurship. It is about identifying and growing out of the narratives that once kept you safe but now keep you stagnant. The coaching work we do together is to interrupt the automatic payments you keep making to your past and start cultivating the life you do want and deserve.
Later is too late. Your future is shaped only by what you intentionally put into practice today.
If you are feeling called to explore deeper, I’d welcome getting to know you.
Deferred Living: Questions Founders Ask Me
Why do founders keep putting off the things that matter?
Because the word later is a soothing anesthesia. Telling yourself you will tend to your health, relationships, or creativity once the round closes or the product ships lets you avoid the part of you that is afraid of real change. It feels like reasoning. It is a protective story, and I wore it for years.
Why does outward success start to feel empty?
Because the outside scales and the inside does not, unless you work on it. Many founders assume life will expand when success does. It does not. You can wake up to every symbol of success and still feel a hollow gap between the achievement and any sense of vitality or meaning.
What does it actually cost to keep saying I’ll do it later?
It compounds, like interest on a loan. The cost rises quietly until the beliefs that no longer serve you have foreclosed on your dreams. Health withers, relationships drift, and purpose dissolves into output. None of it collapses at once. It erodes through postponement.
How do you stop deferring your real life?
The work is dissolving the beliefs that keep you postponing your life, the narratives that once kept you safe and now keep you stagnant. It is not about forcing discipline. The only material you have to build a better life is how you act today, not when you feel ready or when the company stabilizes. For me, that meant someone trusted and experienced in my corner.
On what it costs to keep deferring the things that matter most: What to Do When You’ve Lost the Fire for Your Startup.
